Ma famille c'est mon père, ma mère et mon frère et sa copine et ses enfants ça d'accord mais ça n'a jamais tenu que là -dedans : parce que c'est aussi les 6 soeurs de mon père et tous mes cousins et cousines et ma marraine qui est une soeur de mon père.
a ce jour j ai 58 ans ma vie est pleine d'ambuche a 15 ans mon père m'as vauler mon adolesance il buvais il frapet mas mer pour un petit rient mes deux frere mon volais hauci mon adolesance mon regard set retourner vaire les garçons mes mes pas les fille j ai grandi e prix de l age j ai decouver que j aiter gay mes mas vie ses retourner j ai aimer une seul fille de 24 ans jute a l annee 1986 et mon regard est revenu sur les homme mes je suis rexter avec mas femme a l annee 2000 par cauxe d un casser j ai a tout mon entourage que j aiter gay et persson mas rejetais je pleinemant mas vis a ce jour je me bas contre ce cansser mes mas tete je suis pour l instan voila mon histoir en quelle que faute et vive les garçon que j aime et a plus
Il y a aussi mes taties Rita et Ludmila, qui elles, les radines, ne m'ont offert qu'un tonton chacune : Maurizio et Diego. Une paire de cousin-e-s par couple tout de même, ce n'est pas rien ! Arkady et Rosa puis Anastasia et Irina.
Des figures paternelles, ma mère, Fanon, m'en a offert deux ou trois et un d'entre eux, Micha, est mon parrain. De père, un seul, Klaus.
Last may, I was visiting friends in Croatia for a couple of weeks. I went to Zagreb and to Rijeka, intending to take a vacation from my anti-racist activism in Germany. As tourists may do, I casually walked the streets of Zagreb until it became practically impossible to avoid a feeling of rage, growing in my mind alongside this ironic thought : that even though it’s not because of the colour of my skin, politics wouldn’t leave me alone just because of who I am. At every street corner, I was faced with people who disagreed fiercely with the existence of my family, and with my being in their world.
I was born and raised in a lesbian couple —I also have a very nice dad, not to forget him. for the last few weeks, this simple biographical fact suddenly took on a political dimension it never had before. I would even say that, since I stopped seeing it as a personal problem, this had no importance at all in my life. It’s just who I am ; no more, no less. When I was little, it happened to be a source of suffering, mostly when I had to deal with the extreme commonplace homophobia amongst the other kids in the playground as well as that of French society in the 1990s. It took time to figure out that this was actually a nice family to grow up in, and even that I was luckier than many other kids as i had more parents and never lacked love or respect from them. Looking back, i think this little difference gave me particular strengths in my grown-up life. With time, I realized that i was far from being the only one in my society to be forced, at a very young age, into understanding what the word « prejudice » means.
So, I was seeing those banners showing four figures holding hands. A heterosexual family, obviously. In Croatia then, some people were trying to collect enough signatures to introduce a referendum, in order to write into law in their country's Constitution that marriage shall only unite people of different sexes. In the name of family, they say. First of all, the only way to understand this argument is to conclude that my family is not a family, or that it should never be one in the eyes of the Croatian state. I guess it should just stay underground forever, hiding itself during daylight. Now, from this point of view, marriage is what those activists consider as defining a family before the community, beyond blood or any de facto situation. Not only Croatian anti-gay activists ; in deed, some weeks before, in France, a law was to be voted to let homosexual couples get married, this project faced a huge, unexpected opposition. During the last
demonstration, I read that there were more than 150000 opponents protesting in the streets of Paris. In France as well as in Croatia, they all claimed that the true potential danger to fear is that gay couples could end up having kids and found families. God save us.
I exchanged a few words with one of the activists of this Croatian initiative. With great compassion, I tried to tell her that by participating to such a campaign, she directly hurt real people, she denied their very right to exist to established families like mine, saying that they should never be, that I should not be born. This person was apparently very upset, blessing me very loudly and praying god for the sins of my mothers, at the same time screaming and pushing me away from her stand. Maybe she was afraid of herself, facing her own deeds. I am convinced that she was doing this « good action » thinking of her true Christian values and of the good of society, of the Bible, maybe of her own family. She even said she was not homophobic, no kidding. With geat compassion, I understood this reaction, I guess I would also be upset looking at someone in the eyes and telling her « your birth is a sin, you should never exist». It reminded me of this beloved curse Croatian friends kept teaching me from the first second I stepped into Croatia, « go back into your mother’s vagina ».
She was far from using those words, and I am sure she was unaware of the dark dimension of what she was performing. She was not the kind to insult us, or to beat up young gays behind a church after sunset. No, she probably just thought that marriage is a symbol, and family is a value ; maybe marriage is the symbol of Christian love between two people ; and family is the institution of a proper adult life in a Christian society, something like that. Such important values had to be kept, I believe she thinks, because this opinion is like any other, making no harm, just aiming at a better society. No, she does not want us dead.
Quite ironically, she thinks almost like my anarchist friends. Of course for myself, I had known for a long time that my family is no value. That’s why we sometimes had to protect it, through lies, so that some people don’t recognize it as such. It’s only when I considered this anti gay-marriage mobilisation that I realized marriage shall not be reduced to a symbol either. The christians are right. Marriage is the only existing jurisdical means our post-Christian states offer to acknowledge the existence of a family independently from kinship. And because it is a matter of rights, it is very tangible. My mothers were never married or divorced, of course : it was forbidden to them. The countrary would mean that they could have had the possibility to legalize my relationship to my sister, who was adopted by MariteÌ only, because they were forbidden to adopt her as a married couple of course. It means that I could have the possibility to be legally responsible for my sister, to be allowed to sign papers for MariteÌ in case something happened to her, if she would get sick or senile, or next time she finds
herself in a moto crash (god save us). It also means that my mothers could have the possibility to organize their inheritance for us. (Once again, thank god that MariteÌ has probably nothing serious to leave me...)
Apart from some important material issues, marriage can mean a lot in those moments of a daughter’s life : all those tangible rights are part of the package hetero-kids get, when the state acknowledges the structure of their family through civil marriage, whether their parents are both biological parents or not. Legalizing gay mariage not only means equality on some symbolic rights for the gay minority, it means that me, and my sister and all my gay-kids friends, have the same family rights as any other person. So, in the name of family...all parents shall be able to marry.
* machupichku materinu means « go back into your mother’s vagina » in croatian.
La delicatezza con cui state raccontando questa storia mi fa emozionare ad ogni pezzettino. È impressionate come state riuscendo a riempire questo spazio angosciante che separa la normatività al bisogno di cura reciproca ed investimenti sentimentali. Vi amo.
On y ajoute parfois un I pour intersexe, et un Q pour queer ou “questionningâ€. Il manquerait les gens qui ne choisissent pas leur partenaire en fonction de son genre, les pansexuels, comme nous raconte Laci Green.
Ce qui compte, c’est de respecter le choix de genre fait par les personnes, et d’utiliser les pronoms, et les accords de genre, qui leur conviennent.
On y ajoute parfois un I pour intersexe, et un Q pour queer ou “questionningâ€. Il manquerait les gens qui ne choisissent pas leur partenaire en fonction de son genre, les pansexuels, comme nous raconte Laci Green.
Alberomio - mon arbre Un webdocumentaire de Taina Tervonen et Charlotte Planche
Écriture: Taina Tervonen, sur une idée originale de Brune, Pablo, et Pierrot Seban Réalisation: Taina Tervonen Animations: Charlotte Planche
Abécédaire: Brune, Pablo et Pierrot Seban Image: Emilien Cancet, avec Jean-Baptiste Delpias Son: Emilien Cancet, avec Alexandre Lesbats et Jean-Baptiste Delpias Montage: Jean-Baptiste Delpias Assistant montage: Romain Marcé Graphisme et webdesign: Charlotte Planche Développement web: VIP (Very Important Press) Mixage: Fred Commault / Assistance Audio, Cyrille Carillon / Studio Domino Composition musicale: Julien Reynaert Interprète: Valeria Bianucci Production: Let’s Pix / Nicolas Valode, Pauline Cathala, Vincent Attelé
Avec la participation de Mediapart
Avec le soutien pour l’aide à l’écriture du Centre national du cinéma et de l'image animée
En partenariat avec: Grundtvig Learning Partnerships KissKissBankBank DECLA Nelfa Causette
This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.
Si vous souhaitez organiser une projection, une intervention dans un lycée ou simplement nous contacter, écrivez-nous à alberomio.monarbre(at)gmail.com
Merci à… Toute la famille Seban-Navas-Desideri, Jacky, La Méridienne, Viola, Aude et Amanda Antoine Ronchin, le Dad, Joã, César, Alma, Qassim en Bretagne, Maman, Jeanne, Cédric, Brune et Stéphane à Tunis Suzanne pour tout tout tout, Dan, Barbara, Giulia, Olivia e Jamila, Controstorie pour m’avoir fait découvrir tout ça et Kespazio pour avoir continué Pauline Cathala, Nicolas Valode, Vincent Attelé et toute l’équipe de Let’s Pix Alexandre Archenoult, Hojoh Alexandre Chevalier, Des enfants comme les autres Maria von Kaenel et Ilaria Trivellato, Grundtvig Moira Chappedelaine-Vautier Myriam Aklil
Christophe Modica Coralie Trousselle, Yaelle Kung, Flora et l’équipe de Toulouse Toute l’équipe du bazar érotique - librairie Tuba à Rome Julia Pascual, Marc Endeweld, Carole Roudière et l’équipe de Causette Margot Loizillon, Adrien Féraud et l’équipe d’Evry Olivier et l’équipe du Café concert “Chez ta mère” à Toulouse Erwann Binet Les ami-e-s pour leurs retours et leurs encouragements
Merci à tous les gens qui ont accepté d’être filmés, même quand ils et elles n’apparaissent pas : Aude, Suzanne, Viola, Christine, Danièle, Julien, Jamila, Leila, Marie, Najat, Natou, Pierre, Sara et Véronique, Tommaso, Lia e Andrea, Gali et Anne-Gleu, plein de gens pendant la manif, les intervenants du débat d’Evry, Isino, Marie-Léonce, Maya et toute la classe du lycée de la Borde Basse de Castres, Manù, Martina, Eli, Elisa, Sam.
Merci à tous les KissKissBankers: Colette Allons, Amélie Amélie, Julie Auger, Adrien Aumont, Aurelie Baudet, Marie Béjannin, Stef Blondron, Francine Bonnaud, Martina Borrut, Marie Breau, Guillaume Brialon, Anne Bricaud, Patricio Carfagnini, Zabou Carrière, Tilda Cassan, Pietro Cataldi, Domitilla Cataldi, Magali Cecchet, Yves Charfe, Agnès Chetaille, Laura Chyderiotis, Jean Paul Cnocquart, Violette Cordaro, Raymonde Couvreu, Marie Anne Couvreu, Anne Cremieux, Loïc Cwiek, Hendrik Davi, Jean Baptiste Delpias, Armelle Dion, Didier Disenhaus, Anaïs Duché, Chatty Ecoffey, Jacqueline Esteban, Marina Fages, Nicolas Fagnol, Jonathan Fallon, Emilie Faurous, Valerie Fougeres, Thomas Fouquet Lapar, Stéphane Fraize, Yann Gallic, Fanny Gallot, Mathilde Gavalda, Alessandra Ginzburg, Marta Giral, Paul Goulet, Nadine Guiraud, Marilia Guiraud, Ross Harold, Julie Heurtel, Hugues Hospital, Katja Ingman, Tiphaine Jézéquel, Elise Khalfallah-Aubry, Aija Kivisaari-Martinez, Anneli Kummeliturska-Maahinen, Johanna Kuningas, Paul Lahana, Julie Le Mest, Franck Lemaire, Nathan Liechti, Florencia Liffredo, Viola Lo Moro, Isabelle Maradan, Claire Marquis, Paola Masi, Nathalie Mestre, Myriam Monheim, Jean Baptiste Moreno, Faïza Naït-Bouda, Sarah Neumann, Cécile Nicouleaud, Mathieu Nocent, Olivier Normandin, Julia Pascual, Maud Percheron, Marion Perrin, Alice Pétillon, Marie Petroni, Cassandre Poirier, Amanda Prat, Sara Protasi, Cécile Raimbeau, Marine Rambach, Héloïse Raslebol, Agathe Raybaud, Claire Robert, Florence Roller, Sofia Rossi, Marie Sanjuan, Tino, Nunka, Margaux, Marie, Jimmy et Amaury Sarnac, Chloé Mansouri, Claire Simon, Margaux Simon, Marie Sonnette, Vincent Touchaleaume, Fabien Vehlmann, Anne Violet, Michel Weill, Santi Zegarra, Yoan Zerbit, Nadia Ziri, Oriane Zugmeyer.